Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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