im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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