so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
