i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
soo... how was my night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
