I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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