I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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