I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
