I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
