let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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