Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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