u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
