I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
