They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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