You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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