can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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