Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
