when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub