I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.