my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's shark week go big or go home
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.