We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said