My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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