I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
