We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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