Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
