i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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