KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
