Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
