my being single is dangerous.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize