Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize