My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
