is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize