hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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