I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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