If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
