grandma shit on top of the toilet
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize