i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
