it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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