there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize