You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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