So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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