I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
