I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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