Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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