Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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