i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
