"it" just moved
I think my vagina is haunted
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
