he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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