i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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