I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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