I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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