my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
