The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
