Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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