we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug