Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.