my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.