Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
