carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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