Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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