Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
